By Artist & illustrator Robert Brownjohn – Thunderball UK quad poster – impawards.com, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37428242
Hello Otterites!
Must resist… can’t smack Francis… oh hell, I’ll just give in. I’m compelled to refute Franny’s assertion of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service as one of the best, if not the best Bond film. Sorry Francis, it is unequivocally and irrefutably a stinker.
First, it is too damn long! Running time is 142 minutes! For comparison, From Russia With Love is 115 minutes. 142 minutes means there’s a lot of flab on that bone that should have been trimmed by the editor or first time Bond director Peter Hunt. For a start, the scenes in Tracy’s hotel room make little sense and drag the whole thing down. I can’t get through them without changing the channel and coming back when something actually happens.
Second, George Lazenby stinks. Sorry Francis, he was supremely and sorely miscast as Bond. Additionally, he played Bond as way too nice a guy. An amiable ladies’ man and bon vivant, not the on the edge near psychopath the character needs to be, with violence percolating just below the surface as Connery portrayed. Just not right at all. Cubby Broccoli screwed the pooch here.
Third, the whole premise makes no damn sense. Bond and Blofeld came face to face in You Only Live Twice, the film that immediately proceeded OHMSS. They’ve met. They know each other. The whole premise that Blofeld is somehow claiming to a count and Bond has to impersonate a heraldry expert to get to meet him is freaking stupid. If they know Blofeld is at Piz Gloria, then no need for pretense. Drop in and put a bullet in his freaking noggin. Bond is licensed to kill and Blofled is an international criminal that nearly started World War III. Stop playing around and shoot his Ernst Stavro ass.
Fourth, the whole thing is played too tongue in cheek. I absolute hated the whole “this never happened to the other fellow” business in the opening scene. Just ridiculous to play this supposedly high-octane thriller for a dumbass joke about a new actor in the part. Play it straight Cubby.
Ah, that feels better. Got it out of my system. Now, there are some points wherein I am in hearty agreement with Francis. The ever-luminous Diana Rigg for one. She is perhaps the best/greatest actress ever to appear in a Bond film, and that includes Oscar winner Halle Berry. Rigg gets across more emotion with a blink than Lazenby can in 10 lines of dialog. And yes, the ski and sled chase scenes are pretty epic, and as thrilling as anything that came before. And of course, Telly Savalas never goes amiss.
So as to which films really are the best of the series, I would say the 3 that were the meat of the 60’s era of the series are the tops. From Russia With Love is undeniably number 1. Thunderball is for me number 2, because sharks and the always menacing Adolfo Celi as Largo. Number 3 has to be Goldfinger. Gert Frobe and Pussy Galore are pretty hard to top. Yes, I do love Diamonds Are Forever yet recognize it isn’t as tightly constructed as previous efforts and the ending is fairly implausible. Again, they know it is international criminal Blofeld on the oil rig. No reason for a helicopter assault. Just drop a really big bomb on the thing and be done. Collateral damage of Tiffany Case wouldn’t be a consideration. No need for Bond to infiltrate and switch the control tape. And yes, Charles Gray plays Blofeld with a bit more camp than Telly or Donnie Pleasence. Still, you got Vegas, a bad ass Mustang and freaking Jill St. John.
So there you have it Otterites. My thoughts on Bond films. For more, be sure to listen to our Pop Culture episode dedicated to all things James Bond.
